Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
