its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
