Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
