We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
