Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
