I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
