we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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