end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
