I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he thought i was a dude.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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