i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
