im having a threesome with these popsicles
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
