I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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