I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
