My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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