Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
