i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
