No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
