"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
