yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
