he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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