Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
