Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
