she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
