"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
