sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
