if you like me you must not know who I am
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
