And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
