Christians are straight up FREAKS
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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