So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
