We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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