READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
