i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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