I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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