Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
