Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
