I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
