yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
