i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize