I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
