direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
