porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
