just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
