Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
