Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
