Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
