I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize