i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
