spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
