Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
