That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
