"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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