your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
