we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
