i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
