im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
