your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
