: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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