I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
