and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
