I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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