Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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