Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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